When you have a problem with someone, don’t focus on solving the problem
This fantastic book is about relationships, but I think the fundamental idea is really useful for working with colleagues too.
The fundamental idea is this:
When you have a problem with someone, don’t focus on solving the problem. Instead, focus on strengthening the underlying relationship.
How many times did you realize you had totally misjudged a colleague, after getting a coffee with them, or having to sit next to them during a company lunch?
Many problems are not about the problems themselves; they’re about a weak underlying relationship.
Next time you have a problem with a colleague — try to get to know them, first.