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Writer's pictureAli Assareh

“I don’t need to *give* love; I need to *be* love.”

“I don’t need to give love; I need to be love.”



My son Issa was very sick this week — I think Monday was one of the hardest days of my life. 



I spent a lot of time with him. 



There was a moment when I went and sat very close to him on the couch, to try to console and comfort him. 



He pulled away, and sat at a distance from me. 



In that moment, I got stuck in my own ego: “Why doesn’t he want me to sit next to him? I was just going to give him love….”



As I was thinking these thoughts, he came and nestled himself in my lap, as if to seek love on his own terms.



I suddenly realized something: my job is not to give him love, as much as it is to be love: to be a safe, loving island, that he can take off from to pursue his own journey, and come back to whenever he needs to. 



By focusing on being love — instead of giving love — I can create the right kind of space for him to receive love on his own terms, and according to his own needs. 



Giving love was about me; being love is about him. 



“I don’t need to give love; I need to be love.”


—————-



Pic: Issa is all about ghosts and dinosaurs right now…. 🤷🏽‍♂️


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