"Am’s are not."

As I waited in the airport lobby for my mom’s arrival — an experience familiar to many immigrants, and those with parents living far away — I had one of the biggest epiphanies of my life: “am’s are not.”

All the things I thought I “am,” all my life: kind, shy, hard working, a pushover, friendly, and many more…. 

They are all learned behaviors, not what I “am.” 

I “am” kind because I saw my mother do kind things — like making extra food for city workers working outside, and kindly asking me to deliver it to them, and thank them for their hard work. 

I “am” also a pushover because I saw my mother put her own needs last, many times. 

I “am” not anything; I am just a collection of learned behaviors. 

I can reinforce the good ones, and work to unlearn the bad ones 🙂

“Am’s are not.”