Don't change the person, change the relationship between you.

Good news if you’re dealing with a tough relationship: 

You don’t have to change the other person (you can’t anyway) — you just have to change the relationship between you. 

Setting boundaries, for example, is one way of changing your relationship; getting to know the other person more, is another way. 

This applies to coworkers and friends, and also to our relationship with ourselves. 

“We” are relational beings — the possibility of change extends far beyond what’s “within” us, and into what’s between us.